I guess it is true, I to assumed once becoming a parent that I would automatically grow up and so would my boyfriend. I think it's a normal thought process. Or an over emphasized hope?

Now that I'm expecting my second child I think & hope this even more...

If only my boyfriend were on the same page. Or at least reading mine...

It's not that he's a bad father. It's not that he isn't around or being entirely irresponsible. I just don't think that selfless aspect of being a parent ever clicked on. So what brings this about? I haven't had an actual parenting break since September. This past week has been my cracking point. I'm six months pregnant and my son toward the end of our Holiday vacation became very sick. He is two and a half so any sort of cold/flu is brutal. Children this young don't cover their mouthes, know to blow their nose...it's still a learning process. He's slowly getting there and getting everyone else sick along the way. With this also comes a lot of whining and crying...a lot of very very late nights. Nothing I didn't anticipate when becoming a parent. What I didn't realize was I'd be doing it all on my own...even though  I wasn't alone.

Like I said I'm having my second child...so why do I feel like I'm having my third?

During this very long week my boyfriend & I have also become ill. I especially can't afford it right now so you would think that would make him the primary get up in the middle of the night, give the bath, maintain the home let me come in where I can and take it easy, ya know for the sake of our unborn child! NOPE! Here I am cooking dinners and taking care of everyone as if it's a normal day. Meanwhile I'm going on zero to three hours of sleep and he's upset because we accidentally woke him up at 10:30 in the morning on a sick day. How did this work out this way? How and when do I put my foot down? I understand he has to go to work so that's a different story but when we're both home shouldn't we both be sharing the responsibility?

I don't have anyone to pamper me when I'm sick. Give me medicine. Get me a glass of water. I know in away I have allowed it to go on but isn't enough enough? I typically work 40 hrs a week to. How do you not see someone cracking under the pressures of parenting and just sit and watch? It's not an easy job. Lord knows there are days I just want to stick my son in front of the TV and say don't move for the next 8 hours mommy needs a day. I embrace nap time but until that happens you need to be on all the time, even if your head is in the toilet to. You just gotta move on over and share the space.

I would love to sit and play video games for 12 hours, get upset when someone interrupts my tv program, lay around when I'm not feeling well, or say I'm helping someone for an hour and not come back for six. I would love to go out with my friends and assume I don't have to get up in the morning. But it's not my reality. It shouldn't be yours either. It's a complete lack of respect and total break down in communication.

What is it about mothers that makes us afraid to say I need, I want. Help me! Is it pride? Is it fear? Do we really think we can do everything better? Do we think we really can do it all? Are we just making excuses? How do you put yourself first when you're putting everyone else there as well? Should you actually be the priority? If you're not okay mentally or psychically how are you make everyone else that way?